Day 1

Okay. This is the first time I have ever had a blog. I know, I know. You are thinking to yourself, "Where has this girl been the past decade!?" Well, honestly, I have never thought I had anything worth reading to blog about. Yet, I am not sure I do now, either.... We will get to that later. Basically, I want to start out by telling you a little bit about myself. It can be tough to read other people's thoughts and opinions when you don't know where they are coming from. Also, I should point out the obvious... which is that text (as opposed to audible discussions) can sometimes lead to problems. This is because we lose the wonderful gift of inflection. I love inflection. Perhaps I love it so much because it is so vital to sarcasm. I love that, too.

So. Me.

I was born in 1982 in Phoenix, Arizona. My parents are married. To each other. I can't impress on you enough how important their marriage has been in my life. I knew I wanted to be a wife and stay one ever since I was a small girl. (More on that later)
I grew up in a Christian home. I am still living in a Christian home. Maybe it is not the same as the way my parents operated, but I do try to do my best. I think it is the only thing we can ever promise.
At 16, I graduated high school as a Junior. I wanted to dance. I joined a ballet company and there I stayed for 5 years. Those were some great years. I also fell down a steep slope during those years. I took to partying, staying out all night, and making relations with unsavory characters. It is a sad truth. It is also part of my story. I can't leave it out.
When I was 22, I got drunk at a punk show in another attempt to make people like me. I crashed my car that night into a tree. I had hit the low. There it was. LOW. I had no car, I had just lost my contract with the ballet company- so I was working at a bar- and I had a DUI on my record. I quit my ballet teaching job because it was too far from home.
My parents didn't take to kindly to my mistakes. They loved me, though. There was not much they could do to help me out of the situation if they wanted me to learn anything from my mistakes. So- I did most of it alone. I remember my day in jail. I was BLESSED. I was intoxicated enough to get an extreme DUI, but the court offered me a deal that I had lost so much sleep over. One day in jail. It was horrible. One day and I know I don't ever want to go back.
I worked at that bar for about 3 years, I think. I met a guy and I thought I was in love and I almost threw away my life and my family for somebody who had the potential to hurt me very badly. I can't imagine what horrible mistake it would have been if I had stayed. I am glad that things got so bad that I was forced to take myself out of the situation. I was blinded. Everybody who ever met him thought I was insane for being with him and they all told me to get out. Funny, huh? They were right.
A few months had passed when I met Matt. (or re-met-- we went to JR High and HS together) I loved him. Maybe more in my head than in my heart at the time. I needed someone. I was broken. He wasn't perfect. I cried more nights over him than he probably deserved... or was worth. However, something kept me with him.
After only about 5 months of dating, we found out my daughter, Bonnie, was coming to join the family... he had a choice. Marry me or leave. Luckily, he took the road many guys don't. We went through Pre-marital counseling at our church and were married 2 months before Bonnie was born. I was a big balloon belly and I was scared and unsure of this whole marriage, but somehow I get choked up thinking about that day.
I can only think one one more emotionally uplifting day. That, is, of course, the day Bonnie was born. She immediately became a kind of glue for our family. It was instantaneous. We were a family and-- like my parents, I wanted to keep it that way.
Well, since then, a LOT of hard things have come. Cars totalled, jobs changed, houses bought, me losing 30 lbs, me getting back into dancing, jobs lost, jobs gained.. and the most insane one-- moving 2100 miles away from home. My family. My life. My dance company.
So, now it is just Bonnie, Matt, and myself. In Florida. We are on a new adventure. One that is bittersweet. I want to share my feelings with you. Mind my tears at times. I promise some laughs, too... only problem-- watch out for that lack of inflection.

<3 Millie